You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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