I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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