There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
