you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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