this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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