felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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