I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
