So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
