At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
