Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Randomize
