Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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