Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
