so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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