it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
