bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
