farters have to be the big spoon...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This beer is not sobering me up at all
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
