she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
