He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
