just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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