Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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