are you so shy because you have an std?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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