the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
