hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
