Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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