I puked a lego.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
