just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
