I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
