you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
