He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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