Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
