I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
