I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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