I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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