we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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