At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize