She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
