i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
