pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
