listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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