Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
