the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just found a bag of teeth...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
And then he peed in my hair
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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