I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
bring money and cleavage
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
