i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Everything about him screamed your future.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
