its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
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