I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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