You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize