u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
