She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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