There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize