Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
