One girl and one boy is just not enough.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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