I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
