hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
