onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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