i think my tv is drunk
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
