theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
this hospital has no fireball
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
