i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
