Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
