Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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