there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
