I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
