I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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