And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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