I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
