My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
